5 Other Things

There's a thread on Facebook this week where you are given a certain number by someone and you have to write down that many surprising facts about yourself. This is not that--though those have been really fun to read.

I feel like I've been learning a lot lately. Life stuff. I have been running into brilliant blog posts and articles all over the internet. I've read mind blowing books. And as I've learned I've re-posted lots of things on Facebook that I thought were great, or true, or made me think. I've been excited to share my discoveries.

But I've gotten the impression lately that I need to do more with all these gifts of insight I've been given. I need to really think about them, process them, write about them. So they can really change me, and not just be a half-conceived thought as I rush through to the next idea. It's a little bit terrifying to me, to post my own thoughts instead of re-posting other people's genius. But this is my first attempt to follow that prompting.

So, tonight for scripture study I read the boys the parable of the talents from the New Testament and we talked about being grateful for, and using, the gifts and talents God has given each of us.

A few hours later when I logged in to check Facebook a couple of friends had posted a link to this post about a mom's insecurities about not being perfect and ruining her kids. She was up in the middle of the night with a sleepless toddler and beating herself up about all the things she thought she should do better for her family. She realized that what her kids really need is her, with her talents and things she does right for her family. She decided, "What will ruin my kid is if I let all of those 'shoulds' bury the things that make me."

I closed Facebook and started working on the lesson I will teach the Young Women at church on Sunday. I opened President Uchtdorf's talk called Forget Me Not and read:

 "I want to tell you something that I hope you will take in the right way: God is fully aware that you and I are not perfect.

Let me add: God is also fully aware that the people you think are perfect are not.

And yet we spend so much time and energy comparing ourselves to others—usually comparing our weaknesses to their strengths. This drives us to create expectations for ourselves that are impossible to meet. As a result, we never celebrate our good efforts because they seem to be less than what someone else does."

As I read, the third thing in a row about recognizing the good gifts in ourselves, I got the impression that God was talking to me about this tonight. In the blog post the mom, Alissa Marquess, had listed the things she felt like she was good at. I started thinking about what I would list about myself, and it felt terrifying to even think about. She was really being vulnerable making that list, I realized. What if the things she believed she was good at other people thought she really was no good at at all. By writing it down, by admitting to herself and everyone else, she was really opening herself up. What if I am wrong about what I think I am good at?

But since I'm trying to "dare greatly" lately (if you haven't read this, you should!) I decided to try and make a list. I told myself to think of five things that I was good at. My sweet husband was asleep, so I couldn't ask him to tell me--but I think that would have defeated the purpose, anyway. I think God wanted me to think of my own five things, so I would believe it myself. But it was hard. Coming up with 5 things, and owning them, and actually writing them down was really hard.

(I guess this is the part where doing something with what I read causes actual growth.)

In the end, I did come up with five things. And while I admit some of them are kind of lame, it's a work in progress.

1. I'm a good friend.
   I love people, I really do. I'm a good listener and I am always willing to help however I can. I try to love people the way they need to be loved and I am pretty funny.
2. I'm logical.
   I loved my philosophy classes in college and I still love a good debate. I feel like I'm good at thinking things through and coming up with a logical answer.
3. I am compassionate.
   I can usually see where someone is coming from and why they would choose things I don't agree with. I don't like to see people suffer, no matter who they are or why they are suffering... and I want to do what I can to alleviate it.
4. I am a good teacher.
   I am good at explaining things so that they make sense, I don't get nervous in front of people, and I really want to help people know true, good things.
5. I am willing.
   I may not be perfect, but I am willing to try to be better; I am willing to help whenever I can; I am willing to get in and work hard at things when they are important to me.   

So that's my list. Whew! Even as I typed it here I had to keep deleting disclaimers and caveats.

So what are your 5 things?